Desire for Deeper Life

There is a deep desire in me to write about this "deeper life" as it is called, but the fear of being lumped in with the cultist and the extremist has held me back, but I need to write. I must write. I feel there is so much more than this surface Christianity most of us speak of and sadly most of us only experience. There's a relationship with God so deep, so spiritual, so awesome, words cannot describe it. A heart cannot fully contain it or it would explode. It's a deepness that stirs you deep down inside so that you cannot sit still, you want to dance as David did when the Ark finally reached Jerusalem. It's powerful beyond understanding.
I ponder this a lot. And sometimes I get so fired up. I'll be listening to one of my songs that says
"What if the armies of the Lord
Picked up and dusted off their sword
To finally set the captive free
And not let satan have one more
What if the Church for Heaven's sake
Finally stepped up to the plate
And took a stand upon God's promise
And stormed hell's rusty gates."
I'm ready to shout out " Yeah, satan you're goin' down!"
And then Emmy starts crying in the backseat and my mind suddenly switches gears. Oh how I long for the day that my faith is so deep seated in my soul that not even my child's cry can turn my mind or my focus.
And no I don't believe my children are an excuse for me. So many of you out of your loving, compassionate, kind, and big hearts have tried to comfort me by telling me that essentially my young children are an excuse for slowing down my work for Christ. But I believe if I were to pose the question to Christ he would tell me that if he thought I couldn't handle both jobs then he wouldn't have given me both jobs. When he was calling men to follow him, he gave not a single one an excuse...not even the man whose father had just died and needed to be buried. Why then do I need an excuse to remain behind because I have a few dirty diapers to change? The Master has given me talents and I don't know when he'll return so I must make haste, not excuses.
I feel my heart has been opened to this deeper life that so many of us misunderstand and so we write it off and become complacent with where we are. I know. I've been that person. As the song says " to label me a hypocrite would be only scratching the surface of who I've been known to be". But I don't believe this is all Christ died for. I believe we can do better than this. I believe there is so, so much more. It requires deeper love, deeper devotion, deeper prayer, deeper faith, and deeper exploration into God's word. Only then can we hold that deeper peace of the deeper life with God. The all consuming love of Christ. Nothing can compare.
And if we as a Community of Christians, not just individuals, help each other in seeking and finding this deeper life...I promise, the whole world will know....and want to know what we have that they don't.