Have you noticed that over the last decade or so that customer service has gone oh let's say....into the witness protection program. I mean you can rarely find it. A phone call here and there, but that's about it. So being a stay at home, mother of 4, let's face it, I have to be self-reliant ESPECIALLY when facing such battlefields as Wal-mart. They all stare at me....they know I could use a kind hand, but no one dares lift a finger because let's face it...that would be walking that extra mile and, well, that requires walking.
The problem I have is not with my missing persons report on customer service representatives, it's with my strong sense of self-reliancey. I've become so good at it...too good at it. I've become so good at it in fact that it actually takes effort and special thought on HOW to accept and IF I should accept help from others even as I'm falling all over myself. But the other problem is and the most tragic one, is that it is carrying over into my relationship with God. When I meet him in prayer and in worship or just in every way, I have a hard time with shucking the self-reliant for the self-deniant. Christ tells me to deny myself, but everyday, I feel, in a sorts, that I'm all I've got. My bible tells me that's not true because God is ever with me, but why then am I acting as if the world is against me and it's me....alone. It's me just like Jacob was before he wrestled with "the man". He stood on his own "alone" Sometimes I kind of wonder if God doesn't kind of zing me in a way like he took out Jacobs hip to, I don't know, wound me in a way to remind me, I'm not self-reliant, no matter how hard I try. No matter how hard I train I will never be super mom and I will never stop needing the Creator who created me. I am the creation, he is the Creator and sometimes I just needed to be reminded of my place with a little wounding...a little humility...it does the soul good. Self-deniant not self-reliant, that's where I should be. Relying on God for my strength is what I should be doing. As CS Lewis put it in his book The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe "He's not safe. But He's Good". That's my God.
Thursday, April 5, 2007
Monday, April 2, 2007
Unity
Do you know those people, those complainers, those fault-finders? You know the ones...they don't like the songs we sing or the person who leads the singing either. They think the sermons are too long and the pews are ugly. Do you ever wonder how they got so unhappy or are you one of those people?
It's so easy to let our fire for Christ burn out and leave us with nothing but smoldering discontent. Where did we lose it? Where did we get off track? How do we get back? So many times these are the questions we never ask ourselves or heaven forbid ask others. But the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand. We do not have time to waste with simple politeness. Don't get me wrong, we can't change complainers with a chastening rod, but shouldn't we at least try. If we are examples to other people, so is every single Christian complainer out there. If we are to help the world let's start by helping each other.
It deeply concerns me to hear of the unsettling that has been taking place for many years among the Church. Yes, it's true we have a purpose to win souls for Christ, but how can we ever expect to win anything when we are not unified. I cannot stress enough how I feel so deeply down in the very depths of my spirit that my message is unity. We must learn to live together, learn together, love together, and fight together or we shall be scattered in the wind. Unity is so very important and yet so very hard. How do you take millions of individuals and tell them that they must be as "one" as Christ has commanded? If I had that answer, well, I suppose I'd be more famous than Oprah. I don't have the answer. But I know where to find it. Christ holds the answer. It's in the answer book. Our Bibles. You know that book the preacher always refers to on Sunday. I don't mean to sound critical. I read it and to tell you the truth...I feel overwhelmed a lot. I have trouble filing all the information away in my brain. I've found bits and pieces of the answer...kind of like finding only a few pieces to the puzzle but not all of them so I don't see the whole picture yet...and I may not for years and years yet to come...so again, how do we take millions of people and make them as one, hypothetically speaking, if they were where I am and even truly seeking that answer? I think that if we spent more time studying together, praying together, seeking together....I believe the Spirit would step in where we fall short of the perfect bond. But alas we are all so busy these days. We have packed our lives so full of what this world has to offer that we have left little time for what the Spirit has to offer.
I speak for myself when I say I cry out for others. I so desperately seek the deep Christian companionship of others. I've found it with a few, but I desire it with many. I desire it with many from around the world. I want to truly know that I have thousands of brothers and sisters. I want my heart to be over flowing with the love from a community . I pray for it. I dream about it. I read about it in the early churches and I know it's possible with God as all things are. I only wonder how many feel the same. How many are willing to lay aside selfish ambitions, desires, complaints, "I-don't-want-to's" and join hearts and souls completely, without looking back for the cause of Christ? How many consider their life nothing for Christ? How many are willing to not consider themselves at all?
This is a concept we "modern Christians" are not taught. But in the first Church this is the way they lived. That seems most wonderful to me. Someone once said, " Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it's thinking of yourself less." Ask yourself this, if you sold everything you had and kept only what you needed and had to rely on your church community to provide for your needs, how different would your relationships be with the people you attend church with on Sunday? How close would you be to your fellow Christians then?
It's so easy to let our fire for Christ burn out and leave us with nothing but smoldering discontent. Where did we lose it? Where did we get off track? How do we get back? So many times these are the questions we never ask ourselves or heaven forbid ask others. But the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand. We do not have time to waste with simple politeness. Don't get me wrong, we can't change complainers with a chastening rod, but shouldn't we at least try. If we are examples to other people, so is every single Christian complainer out there. If we are to help the world let's start by helping each other.
It deeply concerns me to hear of the unsettling that has been taking place for many years among the Church. Yes, it's true we have a purpose to win souls for Christ, but how can we ever expect to win anything when we are not unified. I cannot stress enough how I feel so deeply down in the very depths of my spirit that my message is unity. We must learn to live together, learn together, love together, and fight together or we shall be scattered in the wind. Unity is so very important and yet so very hard. How do you take millions of individuals and tell them that they must be as "one" as Christ has commanded? If I had that answer, well, I suppose I'd be more famous than Oprah. I don't have the answer. But I know where to find it. Christ holds the answer. It's in the answer book. Our Bibles. You know that book the preacher always refers to on Sunday. I don't mean to sound critical. I read it and to tell you the truth...I feel overwhelmed a lot. I have trouble filing all the information away in my brain. I've found bits and pieces of the answer...kind of like finding only a few pieces to the puzzle but not all of them so I don't see the whole picture yet...and I may not for years and years yet to come...so again, how do we take millions of people and make them as one, hypothetically speaking, if they were where I am and even truly seeking that answer? I think that if we spent more time studying together, praying together, seeking together....I believe the Spirit would step in where we fall short of the perfect bond. But alas we are all so busy these days. We have packed our lives so full of what this world has to offer that we have left little time for what the Spirit has to offer.
I speak for myself when I say I cry out for others. I so desperately seek the deep Christian companionship of others. I've found it with a few, but I desire it with many. I desire it with many from around the world. I want to truly know that I have thousands of brothers and sisters. I want my heart to be over flowing with the love from a community . I pray for it. I dream about it. I read about it in the early churches and I know it's possible with God as all things are. I only wonder how many feel the same. How many are willing to lay aside selfish ambitions, desires, complaints, "I-don't-want-to's" and join hearts and souls completely, without looking back for the cause of Christ? How many consider their life nothing for Christ? How many are willing to not consider themselves at all?
This is a concept we "modern Christians" are not taught. But in the first Church this is the way they lived. That seems most wonderful to me. Someone once said, " Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it's thinking of yourself less." Ask yourself this, if you sold everything you had and kept only what you needed and had to rely on your church community to provide for your needs, how different would your relationships be with the people you attend church with on Sunday? How close would you be to your fellow Christians then?
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