Being Less Self-Reliant

Have you noticed that over the last decade or so that customer service has gone oh let's say....into the witness protection program. I mean you can rarely find it. A phone call here and there, but that's about it. So being a stay at home, mother of 4, let's face it, I have to be self-reliant ESPECIALLY when facing such battlefields as Wal-mart. They all stare at me....they know I could use a kind hand, but no one dares lift a finger because let's face it...that would be walking that extra mile and, well, that requires walking.
The problem I have is not with my missing persons report on customer service representatives, it's with my strong sense of self-reliancey. I've become so good at it...too good at it. I've become so good at it in fact that it actually takes effort and special thought on HOW to accept and IF I should accept help from others even as I'm falling all over myself. But the other problem is and the most tragic one, is that it is carrying over into my relationship with God. When I meet him in prayer and in worship or just in every way, I have a hard time with shucking the self-reliant for the self-deniant. Christ tells me to deny myself, but everyday, I feel, in a sorts, that I'm all I've got. My bible tells me that's not true because God is ever with me, but why then am I acting as if the world is against me and it's me....alone. It's me just like Jacob was before he wrestled with "the man". He stood on his own "alone" Sometimes I kind of wonder if God doesn't kind of zing me in a way like he took out Jacobs hip to, I don't know, wound me in a way to remind me, I'm not self-reliant, no matter how hard I try. No matter how hard I train I will never be super mom and I will never stop needing the Creator who created me. I am the creation, he is the Creator and sometimes I just needed to be reminded of my place with a little wounding...a little humility...it does the soul good. Self-deniant not self-reliant, that's where I should be. Relying on God for my strength is what I should be doing. As CS Lewis put it in his book The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe "He's not safe. But He's Good". That's my God.